I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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