I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
