We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
