I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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