Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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