The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They took my balls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
