the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
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my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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