i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
