was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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