and you said cock pushups were impossible
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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