first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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