Too much gin, very little bucket
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
