Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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