I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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