I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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