I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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