no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
