but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
