Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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