no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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