I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
