Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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