He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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