I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The air was thick with penises
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
