Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
