I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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