We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
