ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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