Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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