Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
