Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
