I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
