Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize