we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
