you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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