god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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