Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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