mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
