look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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