I cockslap morals
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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