Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS