but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.