anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
