where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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