so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
