I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
