he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
FUCK WHALES
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
