benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize