Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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