I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
