hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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