I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
