Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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