there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
