I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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