the condom got lost in my hair
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize