writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
