My nipple is on Facebook.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I did not marry a roomba.
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