Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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