If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will pee on everything he values.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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