it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
