I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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