just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
